A Very Nice Sabbatical

Posted on June 17, 2012

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So, I am back after a nice long sabbatical. I took a break to renew my soul. To reinvigorate my intellect. To recharge the literary genius that I suppress so very well.

In short…..i decided to quit being lazy and tell a short story.

Besides, the masses were clamoring, yea, even practically begging me to resume my literary prowess that is renown in practically the whole world. And by that I mean….my sister-in-law texted me and told me to quit being lazy and post something

So here goes, a short story.

This is a story of a shuttle bus debacle. The refinery where I work has a bunch of these buses. They have ‘east’ buses, they have ‘west’ buses, they have ‘central’ buses, they have ‘dispatched’ buses. I don’t really know for sure how many run inside the actual refinery at any given time…..i would guess maybe about ten to twelve….that however has technically NOTHING to do with my story.

BP has the refinery in Texas City but they also have several what are called ‘off site’ facilities in Texas City as well. They have TCO (which is I believe kind of like corporate BP headquarters in the Houston area….I think, I don’t really know) there is mo-town, and malone. Both of those are pretty much essentially construction trailer complexes. Malone is primarily all of Zachry overhead people (i.e. people that don’t really do anything other than drive down profits) mo-town is other contractors….miken….and a bunch of other smaller ones.

Back before BP laid practically everyone off. There were shuttle buses that ran to all of those locations as well. You left the refinery and set out at the bus stop at the front gate till the appropriate van or bus came by with the name of the facility you needed to go to.

So anyhow, I needed to go to malone to see a lady in payroll. So I went out of the main gate to set at the bus stop to await the bus that said ‘malone’ on it. Right when I got out of the gate I saw the ‘TCO’ bus getting ready to leave, I probably could have caught it…but I wasn’t going to TCO, or so I thought, so I just went and sat down to await my ride. (editors note: malone is only about five minutes away from the front gate….if that…., so technically the entire route should only lake like 12 mins max, cause they don’t wait real long at any stop.) So i waited ten minutes…..

Then fifteen minutes…..

Then twenty minutes….

Then twenty-five minutes…..thinking by this time, I must have got the bus driver on the stupid breakfast break.

Then at about the twenty-five minute mark, the TCO shuttle bus shows back up. I was like, ‘self, how is this EVEN POSSIBLE’ TCO is all the way on the other side of Texas City, how is this bus back before even malone or mo-town….or merville, (i’m not sure if merville is separate or another name for mo-town…but whatever, i digress). So I sit there steaming and thinking we should have just got a gate pass for the truck and driven to malone myself.

(another short story here, to get a gate pass, you have to fill out a form listing your mother maiden name, the city you were born in, and all current credit card you are carrying and the last three address you have had, then you have to find a BP maintenance supervisor to sign it for you. preferably one that wont treat you as a common criminal in the process. then you have to go to the main warehouse and have a paper pusher stamp and sign your gate pass…..for a dumb reason involving massive amounts of theft involving former Zachry employees. Then you have to drive out of the plant and risk getting all but strip searched by the militant guards a gate 42….so that is the reason i was waiting on a shuttle bus….the end of this short story)

so five more minutes went by

then ten….fifteen….twenty…..

AND THEN THE TCO BUS SHOWS BACK UP AGAIN…..YOUVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.

How is this bus lapping the others like this? I haven’t seen such a bad case of getting lapped since I play mario carts with kimberly for ten minutes and she passed me like twice in every race.

So I decided to really take the ol’ bull by the horns. I go and ask the motivated, energetic looking young man driving the TCO bus when I can expect the malone shuttle….and he replies in an inarticulate drawl….

“oh, i am the malone shuttle…..and the merville/mo-town shuttle” at this point i debate the merits of banging his head off the dashboard while asking, “WOULD IT BE TO MUCH TO ASK TO ADD THE STICKERS FOR MALONE AND MERVILLE TO THE BUS RIGHT UNDERNEATH…OR ON TOP…..OR BESIDE THE TCO STICKER.” Considering he is a Zachry lowlife employee him self…i refrain my self, i get in and buckle my seat belt as loudly as I can……

Have you ever buckled a seat belt loudly? its hard….wives try it next time your husband upsets you in the car….it will really show them.

the trip back wasnt much better…..but im tired and don’t feel like giving details…..

oh, wait, have I told you about my stupid H2S monitor story….no? Oh well, maybe in about five weeks…..I feel then need for another sabbatical.

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